Independence Day

Well we had court today and guess what? The coward didn't even show up! I feel victorious in every way and could not have asked for it to work out any better. It was amazing and I am thrilled to have my life back. Slowly but surely we cut the cancer out of our lives and can return to normal; not living in constant fear for our lives, property, well being and image. The most important thing to remember when dealing with these types of people, or sociopaths as they are called, is that they love being in control and when they are not in control anymore, they run and hide, because yes, they are cowards. They only play the big man up to a certain point. When they realize that their victim is fighting back, that is when it tends to get the worst, but if you stick it out and stand up to the bully, he will eventually back down. This is what happened to us. That bully realized that by showing up to court and trying to make our lives hell, he would actually do more damage to himself, and because sociopaths are driven by keeping up their image, he had to move on to the next victim. We had more evidence and proof on him then he will ever have on us and he realized that and became afraid. What I am trying to say is if you have to deal with a person like this, stick it out. Dont' give up. It's hard and scary, especially if you don't have the money for a lawyer. But what I learned and I hope other people realize is that you CAN stick up for yourself. It is your right. You Can 'fight back' with the law. The court will not tell you anything. They are about as helpful as a hole in a grocery bag, but don't give up. You have a right to all the information there is out there. The internet has a lot of good advice and tells you how to go about things like TPO's, subpoena's, affidavits and so forth. Just because you don't have a lawyer does not mean you won't win. I never thought we had a chance in heck but eventually I realized how good of a case we had. If you haven't done anything, you can find evidence on the other person. I hope nobody else has to go through what we have been through. It is the scariest thing thinking that your husband is going to get arrested, having to leave you house, having your vehicles towed, not being allowed to go to your home or church, but believe me, it is soooo worth the energy we put into our case. I have learned a lot along the way and hope to never ever have to deal with somebody like this again. I have learned my lesson and to pay attention to those little things called red flags. And yes, sometimes a gut feeling is enough of a red flag!!!!

Don't Let this Happen to You

Recntly we became involved (and still are involved) in a very scary situation. It has caused a lot of stress for my family and close friends and has been nothing short of a living nightmare for myself. While this may seem like something funny, it really is a serious thing and can really affect your life. While I cannot get into the dirty details of it for legal reasons, I will try to explain as best I can. The problem is, that being LDS, we tend to believe that all people are good and we try to see the good in other people; especially people of our own faith. But just because somebody seems or puts on the act of a 'good LDS person' does not by any means mean that they are. While most people in the ward and church are good honest people, there are unfortunately people who are out to hurt other people. What happened was we tried to become friends but later learned that we were dealing with sociopaths. Typical Sociopathic Behavior includes (gathered from 'Profile of the Sociopath'):

- Superficial charm

- Manipulative and Conning They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

-Pathological Lying Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

-Shallow Emotions When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Other Behaviors may include-


Authoritarian

Paranoid

Secretive

Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life


Unable to feel remorse or guilt

Always plays the victim but never accepts that what is happening is a consequence of their own action.


In our situation we were this victim that the definition describes. We witnessed every single one of these traits.Because of the sociopath we were involved with, We were close to having no rights, no money, being forced to move, almost arrested and living in constant fear of what would happen next. Please Please Please watch out and be careful. Just because a person seems genuine and caring does not mean that they are. You can get yourself in a very scary situation. Also, listen to other people. If somebody warns you against somebody, LISTEN. That is why I am trying to get people to realize that there are people like this out there. It is like a cancer, once these people get into your lives, you cannot get them out and they eat away at your soul and your sanity. The best thing you can do if you get involved in a situation like this is to get yourself out asap. It will be messy because a sociopath wants control over you and when they can't have it they lose it. They will try everything then to make your life miserable. You need to gather as much proof as you can. Don't go ANYWHERE alone. Document EVERYTHING and get a lawyer or legal advice. Believe me, I never thought this would ever happen to us but it did and now i hope you all can learn from my experience and don't let this happen to you! If you feel like you involved with a sociopath, please get yourself out. It is better than dealing with what we have been through.


There will be more on this later.....