THE QUESTION

So, after three (yes it has been three) years of marriage, I get asked THE Question quite often "When are you going to have kids?" Despite my urge to shout out "None of your Business" I guess I will attempt to answer seeing as my standard peer group generally has around 2 kids by now. There are several reasons why I have consciously put off having children.

1. I know many people that get pregnant their first year of marriage. While that might work for some, I wanted to work on my relationship with my husband before bringing a third party into the mix. Marriage is hard enough as it is, I wanted to get used to being a wife before being a mother.

2. School. I have wanted to be a teacher for 18+ years now. People who have known me that long can attest to this. I wanted to get through school first. I got married after starting college and I was not willing to let go of two years of hard work and money because I had a child to raise. It was my goal to get through college and I am proud to say that I have.

3. Money. I know I know. "If you wait until you have money, you will never have kids." Boy if I had a nickel for every time I have had that said to me, maybe i'd actually have enough money to have a child. The truth is, we genuinely cannot afford it. We had a rough couple of years and we could barely pay our bills, let alone the bills of another. I do believe that the lord will provide (something I could also collect nickels on for hearing), but I am also a firm believer that one should live within their means. At this moment in time, bringing a child into the world would not only be living beyond our means, but it would also be utterly irresponsible.

Believe me, this is something that I have had to choose for myself and come to terms with. I am always concerned with long term, and for the past three years, bringing a child into the world was not what we were supposed to do. That's not to say that we will never have children; quite the opposite actually. While I like to throw around the idea of working for the rest of my life and leaving the child bearing to the other thousands of capable mothers, I know that kids are in my future. I believe that it is an individual choice and the time differs from person to person based on their circumstances. Unfortunately the peer pressure is high, but I made it three years and a few more (if that's what is supposed to happen) won't kill me.