To blog or not to blog....

It's been forever since I've been on this thing! I'm not sure whether to keep going with it or to can it. I have been writing a lot lately as a way to heal and express the inner most pain, frustrations and sadness I have experienced. In time, I will open up about what occurred but for now, I am still healing, each and every day. My healing journal contains the words I am too afraid to share; for it is all still too raw and personal. So for now, I think my blog will remain in the past...we shall see.

And a Touch of Domesticity

So now that we are once again on our own, I am trying to be that house wife I always wanted to be. (Okay that was a joke). This means, cooking,cleaning, and looking halfway decent doing it (okay that was a joke too.) I have tried some new recipes recently that I think you are all going to like. I will try and put them up soon. Here's what you have to look forward to:

- Strawberry Cream Blooms

- Strawberry Cheesecake Bites

- Frito Corn Salad

- Vanilla Meringues.

As always, I am constantly on the look out for easy, quick and affordable recipes. Cooking for two should seem like a snap but honestly I have yet to master the art. But hey, after 3.5 years of attempting to be domestic, I think i'm finally getting it!

KP Say What?

All My life I have suffered from a skin condition that I never was able to get an answer to. Yesterday, while getting a facial from my lovely and talented friend that Mans the counter at Origins, I was able to get an answer and after looking it up online, I discovered that she was absolutely correct.

Keratosis Pilaris is a skin condition in which the skin over produces Keratin and clogs up the hair follicle, thus resulting in tiny skin colored bumps. It is painless and harmless but cosmetically displeasing.

My whole life I have been embarrassed about my skin condition, often hiding my arms under longer sleeved shirts. It is pointed out by almost anyone who sees it. They usually mistake it for bug bites, sun burns, rashed, 'ouchies' (referred to by the kids) and even chicken pox. The condition is also called "chicken skin syndrome".

The good news is that there are several products out there that are proven to reduce the visibility of the KP. Unfortunately they cost a good penny. However, I feel like after a lifetime of living with this unsightly "arm acne" it is a good investment. I can't believe that I am now at that age where I can say "When I was younger we didn't know such and such" but I can honestly say that when I was younger and had it looked at by doctors and dermatologists, nobody seemed to have an answer. I'm glad that after 24 years I was able to get one!

BS- Bachelor of Science!

So I am officially done done done done done.....with my bachelor's degree. I am waiting patiently for my diploma to come in the mail. I completed 18 weeks of student teaching- 10 in second grade and 8 in Special Ed. I was able to finish 2 weeks early because I was offered a ten week position at the school. I'm not sure exactly what my title is, but basically I teach a small group or take over the class while the teacher works with her bubble kids. Bubble kids are the ones who are just slightly below grade level who, with a little more direct instruction, have a chance to pass the CRT's (state tests). Passing CRT's is crucial at our school right now because we have to meet certain scores set by NO Child Left Behind or we will all be moved around to different schools.

Anyway, I love what I do and I am SO glad that I dedicated 5 years of my life to this. It truly is what I love doing and holds a very special place in my heart. I enjoy teaching and I love my kids. I am thankful to have chosen a career path that I honestly love and feel so fulfilled at the end of the day. Now any Prayers for me to get a full time job would be greatly appreciated!

THE QUESTION

So, after three (yes it has been three) years of marriage, I get asked THE Question quite often "When are you going to have kids?" Despite my urge to shout out "None of your Business" I guess I will attempt to answer seeing as my standard peer group generally has around 2 kids by now. There are several reasons why I have consciously put off having children.

1. I know many people that get pregnant their first year of marriage. While that might work for some, I wanted to work on my relationship with my husband before bringing a third party into the mix. Marriage is hard enough as it is, I wanted to get used to being a wife before being a mother.

2. School. I have wanted to be a teacher for 18+ years now. People who have known me that long can attest to this. I wanted to get through school first. I got married after starting college and I was not willing to let go of two years of hard work and money because I had a child to raise. It was my goal to get through college and I am proud to say that I have.

3. Money. I know I know. "If you wait until you have money, you will never have kids." Boy if I had a nickel for every time I have had that said to me, maybe i'd actually have enough money to have a child. The truth is, we genuinely cannot afford it. We had a rough couple of years and we could barely pay our bills, let alone the bills of another. I do believe that the lord will provide (something I could also collect nickels on for hearing), but I am also a firm believer that one should live within their means. At this moment in time, bringing a child into the world would not only be living beyond our means, but it would also be utterly irresponsible.

Believe me, this is something that I have had to choose for myself and come to terms with. I am always concerned with long term, and for the past three years, bringing a child into the world was not what we were supposed to do. That's not to say that we will never have children; quite the opposite actually. While I like to throw around the idea of working for the rest of my life and leaving the child bearing to the other thousands of capable mothers, I know that kids are in my future. I believe that it is an individual choice and the time differs from person to person based on their circumstances. Unfortunately the peer pressure is high, but I made it three years and a few more (if that's what is supposed to happen) won't kill me.

Ma and Pa

Thankfully I was blessed with an amazing family. I was privileged to have parents who genuinely cared for me and had my best interest at heart. They taught me to be independent and think for myself. They worked together as a team and taught me to take other people's opinions and viewpoints into account. They told me they were proud of me. They told me the loved me. They encouraged me and helped me be a better person. They raised me with morals and values and the ability to work hard for something. I knew that I could always count on them to give me the best advice or simply be there for me. My father is the most intelligent person I know. He always sees the other sides of the issue that I don't see. This is why to this day I still greatly value his input. He is an amazing person and father. My mother is compassionate and hard working. She continually fights for my happiness and would go to the moon and back for her kids, or actually just about anyone. Situations arise in life when you reflect on these things. Sometimes you realize that not everyone has it as good as you do. Some people have parents who don't care or who are emotionally/physically abusive. One thing I am certain is that there has never been a time when I have not been deeply grateful for my family. They are everything I need in this world and no matter what happens, I will always have them. That is the most important thing. So to the best parents in the world, I love you with all my heart!

A year's time

Holy canoli I cannot believe its been almost a year since I have written last. That goes to show how crazy, yet uneventful my life has been this past year. Seeing as the last year has been consumed by classes, homework and holding down a job, the blog was the last thing on my mind. But seriously. Nobody reads this thing anyway. Well here's a super fast, watered down update of the last year of my life.

1. July 2009, Brother of mine left for his mission in Richmond, Virginia and is rocking the house down there.

2. October 2009, Muffin Butts turned one in october. up and walking, talking and melting our hearts.

3. November 2009, Michael got new job at Ritz-Carlton working security

4. Jan 5, 2010= 2 year anniversary. Celebrated with a magical day at the Ritz.

5. May 15, 2010= last day of classes as an undergraduate.

So now that you're all caught up.......

Im still working at old navy and i will be student teaching this fall in second grade. I also got a few days of subbing under my belt before I student teach. Not up to much this summer....vacations cost money, that of which i do not have. Hopefully by the grace of everything that is good in this world I will be able to get a job once I am done. I never thought i'd have a degree I couldn't use but that possibility is becoming a harsh reality.

Well, aren't you glad you read this. Super exciting I know.