Independence Day

Well we had court today and guess what? The coward didn't even show up! I feel victorious in every way and could not have asked for it to work out any better. It was amazing and I am thrilled to have my life back. Slowly but surely we cut the cancer out of our lives and can return to normal; not living in constant fear for our lives, property, well being and image. The most important thing to remember when dealing with these types of people, or sociopaths as they are called, is that they love being in control and when they are not in control anymore, they run and hide, because yes, they are cowards. They only play the big man up to a certain point. When they realize that their victim is fighting back, that is when it tends to get the worst, but if you stick it out and stand up to the bully, he will eventually back down. This is what happened to us. That bully realized that by showing up to court and trying to make our lives hell, he would actually do more damage to himself, and because sociopaths are driven by keeping up their image, he had to move on to the next victim. We had more evidence and proof on him then he will ever have on us and he realized that and became afraid. What I am trying to say is if you have to deal with a person like this, stick it out. Dont' give up. It's hard and scary, especially if you don't have the money for a lawyer. But what I learned and I hope other people realize is that you CAN stick up for yourself. It is your right. You Can 'fight back' with the law. The court will not tell you anything. They are about as helpful as a hole in a grocery bag, but don't give up. You have a right to all the information there is out there. The internet has a lot of good advice and tells you how to go about things like TPO's, subpoena's, affidavits and so forth. Just because you don't have a lawyer does not mean you won't win. I never thought we had a chance in heck but eventually I realized how good of a case we had. If you haven't done anything, you can find evidence on the other person. I hope nobody else has to go through what we have been through. It is the scariest thing thinking that your husband is going to get arrested, having to leave you house, having your vehicles towed, not being allowed to go to your home or church, but believe me, it is soooo worth the energy we put into our case. I have learned a lot along the way and hope to never ever have to deal with somebody like this again. I have learned my lesson and to pay attention to those little things called red flags. And yes, sometimes a gut feeling is enough of a red flag!!!!

Don't Let this Happen to You

Recntly we became involved (and still are involved) in a very scary situation. It has caused a lot of stress for my family and close friends and has been nothing short of a living nightmare for myself. While this may seem like something funny, it really is a serious thing and can really affect your life. While I cannot get into the dirty details of it for legal reasons, I will try to explain as best I can. The problem is, that being LDS, we tend to believe that all people are good and we try to see the good in other people; especially people of our own faith. But just because somebody seems or puts on the act of a 'good LDS person' does not by any means mean that they are. While most people in the ward and church are good honest people, there are unfortunately people who are out to hurt other people. What happened was we tried to become friends but later learned that we were dealing with sociopaths. Typical Sociopathic Behavior includes (gathered from 'Profile of the Sociopath'):

- Superficial charm

- Manipulative and Conning They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

-Pathological Lying Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

-Shallow Emotions When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Other Behaviors may include-


Authoritarian

Paranoid

Secretive

Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life


Unable to feel remorse or guilt

Always plays the victim but never accepts that what is happening is a consequence of their own action.


In our situation we were this victim that the definition describes. We witnessed every single one of these traits.Because of the sociopath we were involved with, We were close to having no rights, no money, being forced to move, almost arrested and living in constant fear of what would happen next. Please Please Please watch out and be careful. Just because a person seems genuine and caring does not mean that they are. You can get yourself in a very scary situation. Also, listen to other people. If somebody warns you against somebody, LISTEN. That is why I am trying to get people to realize that there are people like this out there. It is like a cancer, once these people get into your lives, you cannot get them out and they eat away at your soul and your sanity. The best thing you can do if you get involved in a situation like this is to get yourself out asap. It will be messy because a sociopath wants control over you and when they can't have it they lose it. They will try everything then to make your life miserable. You need to gather as much proof as you can. Don't go ANYWHERE alone. Document EVERYTHING and get a lawyer or legal advice. Believe me, I never thought this would ever happen to us but it did and now i hope you all can learn from my experience and don't let this happen to you! If you feel like you involved with a sociopath, please get yourself out. It is better than dealing with what we have been through.


There will be more on this later.....

Bug Bites and Life lessons.

In a recent meeting with the bishop, we were explaining to him that you can get a lot of information on people through public record; where somebody works, lives, jobs they've had, when and what they've been to court for and any warrants or crimes they have on their records. He said that that seems like an invasion of a person's privacy. Well i have two things to say about that. First, if you have nothing to hide, then why worry? Second, if you are a bad person that has done bad things, then you don't have any rights. or shouldn't at least. Since when should the bad evil people be protected. That being said, we have had the terrible misfortune of having gotten involved with some of these bad, evil people. People who are so bored with their lives they try and destroy other people's lives. It is sad and disappointing all at the same time. If i had to do it again, i would do things differently. I would listen to that little voice inside that says 'don't get involved' and i would never have had to deal with the hurt and stress and fear this has caused me. On the other hand; I am one of those people who has nothing to hide. My conscience is clear as glass. I am a law abiding citizen, working to make my life the best it can be. For that reason, i have no regrets. While i regret the events that caused us to get in this situation in the first place, i do not regret my actions or how i have handled myself. I know that i am a good person and i will continue to be a good person because that is who i am. That was how i was raised. I was raised with valued and beliefs that i hold firm to in any situation. Unfortunately that cannot be said about everyone. It is sad and frustrating that there are truly bad people in this world. People who are out to get us every step of the way. But I won't let that fact bring me down. I'm stronger, I'm better. We Have to go on living our lives the way that we want to;so that when we stand before our Maker on judgment day, we can say, "I gave it my all. I am not ashamed." I once read a quote that said "If you were convicted of being christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" I am going to live my life in a way that creates a load of evidence that i am worthy to be in his presence. I cannot let these little 'bug bites' as I like to call them get in the way of who I am. It makes so much sense in theory, but in practice is much harder. It is so easy to let the poison of other people infect our system and make us bitter and angry. As humans, we want justice, revenge, or the satisfaction of knowing that this person is suffering as much as they made us suffer. But the MOST important thing i have learned is to just let it all go and keep being a good person despite what has been done to you. It really is that simple. And like the words from a true, good friend "the only person who matters already knows what's going on" . Let other people think what they may, but in the end, the only person that needs to know already does. It's amazing the lessons you learn in life when you least expect them, or even when you least want them. But I do honestly feel like I will come out of this better than I was, with an even greater sense of wanting to make good choices and be a better person. And sometimes, to grow is to hurt, but who would return to smallness.

In the Springtime of Our Lives

Wow. I'm glad that I update this thing regularly. That is because my life is soooooo terribly exciting. And I'm not a sarcastic person in case you haven't figured that out. Seriously though, nothing worth writing about has really happened so I've just been hanging out. I am about to be jobless as of the 17th, which is proving to be more of a blessing in disguise rather. I'm too stressed and busy to deal with it all. I got a sub job at a preschool and I love it. It has been so much fun and I love my kiddos. I hope that they will give me enough hours to make a good living. I am also tutoring a 7 year old korean boy on the side which is a new experience. The ONLY reason I mentioned his race is because it has been such a great experience for me, not only tutoring and getting that experience, but getting more culturally diverse as well. His family is so kind and treats me with such respect. They always want to give me food. It has been a really neat thing for me learning about the Korean culture and experiencing new foods. Basically life is moving at full speed right now, not slowing down for anything. This train doesn't stop. But it's good. I'm happy. I'm doing the things I want to do and doing things I never imagined I would get to. I really cannot complain. Now if only summer would just decide to come!

What's Going On?

In the Words of Marvin Gaye,
"What's going on
Ya, what's going on
Tell me what's going on
I'll tell you what's going on "-

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I was recently speaking to a 60 year old man on the phone at work who asked me if I could come shoot him and end his life. I kindly replied that I could not do that, that I would not do that. As if to change my mind, he told me that he would buy the ammo. He had been at working doing security and fell down a flight of stairs breaking both his legs. He is now in bed, in pain all day and as he puts it "hobbles around like a 90 year old." While this gentlemen may not have been serious, it really hit me hard. What is going on in the world today? It is getting pretty scary out there. This gentlemen was simply trying to make ends meet and now, with his temporarily disabled state, he feels like it would be better to just end his life. My husband and I have had some pretty scary and potentially deadly experiences this last month and I mentioned to him "I think it's getting close to our time!" I know that I am not the only one feeling confused and scared by what is going on in the world. It really is true that the world is getting more wicked, but with talks of failing economies and wars, it is a scary reality we are facing. People are becoming desperate which leads to robberies and murders. What's going on? I am glad that I know the things that I know and have the friends and family that I do to get me through this scary and uncertain times. While I do not believe that the end is near, I do believe it is getting closer and it is a hard time to be alive. All I can do is hold on to my beliefs and the ones I love and we will get through this together!

BUSY

Well since it's been forever and a day since I wrote last, I guess I can update you on the exciting events happening in my life: NOTHING!~ School has been keeping me insanely busy and my house is proof of that. My laundry keeps on piling up, as does the homework. I am in full teacher mode right now with the Parent Teacher Aid store being my new favorite! Oh! And I found out that I won't have a job as of april 17th so that's going to be an adventure. Right now my main focus is getting through school; surviving is second to that!!!!

School Days

So, school started up again, and I have to admit, it wasn't horrible. I am finally in the Education program which means I am done with pre-requisites and get to take only classes that are related to my major. AND I only have 3 semesters left, and a few months of student teaching and I'm done! I did things differently this semester in hopes to save money. You would think that I would have caught on before now, but better late than never. I was able to defer my tuition so I hopefully wont have to borrow any from my sweet Dad. Also I am borrowing some books from friends and turned to Amazon and Ebay for the books I still need, since the bookstore is a BIG FAT RIP OFF. I like my classes because they have all the same people in them that I will be with for the next year and a half. They all seem like really nice girls and I was excited to see some old friends, especially Arynn and Lindsay who I haven't seen in a long time and now I get to see three times a week! So this semester should be alright. It will be tight since my hours are cut, but we just have to get through 4 months! I also applied for FAFSA so I really hope that I get something! That would be a huge help and a blessing. We will just try and get through this semester and keep our hopes up high. Graduation is just around the corner, I can't taste it yet, but I can smell it, and it smells so good!

Money Money Money, Must be funny......

Just when you think things are getting better, you get a big ol wake up call. It sounds like this "Juliann, What were you thinking? " And then it throws things at you- big, ugly, scary, rotten, messy things.

I wish I could say that January got off to a good start, but that would be a lie. I knew January was going to be a tough month for us, and it only seems to keep getting tougher. It seems as though every single bill that we have is due this month in large quantities. Also, as they always do, some unexpected things happen that are going to spread us even tighter. To make matters worse, I am only going to get about 9 hours a week at work this semester.

We had one last hope that we were hanging on to and it doesn't look like that hope is going to happen unfortunately. It was the one thing we wanted more than anything else in the world right now. And I am slowly accepting defeat.

The well is running dry and my hope is running out. My faith however, will remain plentiful. This has to be left in the Lord's hands. There is honestly no other way for it to work out otherwise. We are in need of a miracle. I know, I have to believe, that the Lord has a plan for us. It's probably killing him to put us through this now but he's saying to himself "just wait, I promise that what I have in store for you is worth it." I have to believe this. I have nothing else.

Hopefully we will survive these next couple of months. If not, who has dibs on the fish tank? TV? Cars? Let me know, I'm taking orders as of now.

One year older and Wiser too.....

You knew I was going to blog today didn't you? Well, I just have to- because a year ago today, was the best day of my life. I married my best friend, the man that makes me the happiest I've ever been- and that is worth writing about!

Well, I woke up today and there was no snow, so that was the first good thing that happened. You see, on our wedding day it was the snowiest day of the year! It was quite disastrous to say the least, but the important thing was that I was sealed to Michael for time and all eternity.

This first year has been quite the adjustment. The first couple months of marriage were a blast but I look back and see how much we have grown right alongside with each other. At first, looking at him gave me butterflies and I was giddy and unsure about life. Now, I have the deepest love for him and I know that love will continue growing each passing year. I look at him and I cannot believe that I get to keep him for ever. I am so much more confident about life and less timid and unsure about being a wife. We work so well together. It was not always like this but now I am able to look past his faults and love him for who he is and what he means to me. I can honestly say that I could not live without him. He is everything to me. He makes my life what it is.

I can't believe this year has gone by so incredibly fast. I am sad that I am not a "Newlywed" anymore, but in that there is some comfort. I have comfort knowing that if we could make it through that first year, we can make through anything. I firmly believe that. I am grateful everyday for the Man that the lord has blessed me with. For his unique perspective, his easy going nature, his warmth, his sense of fun and for everything that I am learning from him. I hope the next year will be even better than the first. I love you Michael Lambson!!!!!